Question:  What advice would you want to give to other married couples, especially newlyweds?

Couple 1: "Pride stinks. No one wants to live with a know-it-all. Suck it up when you do something wrong or hurt the other person and admit it. Think about the other person. It isn’t all about you. A relationship with God is crucial to a successful marriage. I am a more effective Christian because of the man I married. Think of ways you can serve God together and encourage each other in your spiritual growth. Don’t take your partner for granted. Take the time to show them how you feel like you did when you were dating. Just because you are married now, doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to be taking out and treated as something special. And ladies, sometimes it’s good to do what he wants."


Couple 2: "Stay committed to communication and continued growth. Make prayer and spiritual growth a priority as individuals and as a couple. Find ways to seek and serve God together. Never stop having fun together. Laugh with one another. Be silly. It helps to keep the friendship alive and thriving!"

Couple 3: "Find someone who has the same goals as you do. Make God the center of your marriage."

****Remember! This is our last post for the round table discussions! We will return to normal blogposts on Tuesday! God bless!

Question: How do you protect your marriage from Satan’s darts of temptation? (Unlike #4, this is a question not about your greatest struggle, but how you have proactively avoided pitfalls. This may be anything. i.e. the temptation of growing to close to someone of the opposite sex, pornography, money conflicts, etc.)


Couple 1: "Communication is huge. If you can’t talk about it, you can’t fix it or work through it. Honesty is important. If people were more open and honest before they got married, less people would get divorced. People grow and change and that should be expected. As Christians we are supposed to become more like Christ which means the person I was when we met many years ago is not the person I am today (I hope!). It is ok to be wrong. Living in a marriage where one person always has to be right only plants seeds of bitterness in their partner which usually grow into divorce."


Couple 2: "I think this is why it is so important to keep working on your marriage. A marriage takes daily dedication and decisions to love, serve, and forgive. Being proactive through communicating and setting up barriers can make all the difference. Especially against adultery, which no one ever thinks will happen to them until it does. It also means accountability. If the sin is sexual in nature, the other spouse needs to be assured of their spouse's honesty and faithfulness. But, they also need to be prepared to forgive. Don't hide things. Hidden things find a way to make an appearance, so embrace the vulnerability that is so beautiful in marriage."

Couple 3: "We talk about the things that are bothering us most. We surround ourselves with people who have similar beliefs and convictions as our own. Our friends often hold us accountable--all of them would act to safeguard our marriage and protect us, as we would theirs."


If you feel comfortable sharing, how do you safeguard your marriage?

Question: Has prayer played a role in your marriage? If so, how?


Couple 1: "Yes! We pray together all of the time. He was the first person I have really prayed with. No matter what, we know we have that. Prayer helps keep God in our relationship and reminds us that it isn’t about my selfish wants."

Couple 2:  "Absolutely. Prayer is, in my opinion, the number one way that we communicate about our present fears, hidden desires, and spiritual needs. We allow ourselves to be intimate with one another while being intimate with God. I think that even though it is not a scheduled thing, our prayer life is one of the main ways that we find intimacy with one another. It helps us to build one another up and encourage one another on hard days. When one of us is struggling, it is a way that we can turn to each other and to God for renewal and healing."

Couple 3: "Prayer helps us to know the things that are really going on in each others' lives. Usually, when we ask each other to pray for something, it means more to us than just talking about it in conversation. We figure out what the other person really cares about. It also gives us peace of mind and renews our hope in God."

Now to turn the question over to you! "Has prayer played a role in your marriage? If so, how?"

.Question: In your opinion, what do you think the biggest challenge to marriage is and why?

Couple 1:  "People. Selfishness and skewed expectations are big perpetrators."

Couple 2: Spouse A - "The biggest challenge is consistency. It is easy to make someone feel special and desired when you are dating because it is short term. It is much harder to be consistently kind and considerate day in and day out for the rest of your life. You are sharing your life with them and life can be tough."

Spouse B - "While, I do agree with my spouse that consistency is a big challenge, I would say that consistency is only a piece of the larger puzzle. It comes down a continued commitment to keeping the marriage a major priority in my life. So many things fight for our attention, time, and energy. Things like work, friend and family groups, church life, personal commitments, and everything else we deal with! I find that when I come home from work exhausted, it's harder to summon the energy to show intentional love the way I know I should (and want to do).

Couple 3: "Unrealistic expectations. Lack of communication. Dishonesty and unfaithfulness."


So what do you think? Do you think that this rings true in your marriage? Or are there different things entirely that effect your relationship? Please share in the comments. We would love to get more input on this matter!

Question: How have you grown closer since your wedding day? How have you combated the temptation to drift apart?


Couple 1: "We work on making time to sit down and talk about things. Road trips are the best because we have hours of undivided time to talk. We are silly and laughing helps keep us sane."


Couple 2: "We have learned to appreciate the good in each other and to accept the faults. We make it a priority to spend time together taking walks or doing yard work. Having fun together and going on dates is also important for reconnecting after busy weeks."

Couple 3: Wife: "Since we live together, we have come to know each other's good and bad sides. I know his idiosyncrasies and he knows mine. We've grown closer because we've learned how to deal with each other--whether it be his learning to sit next to me and hold the bowl when I'm sick during the night, or my learning to be quiet and especially nice to him when he has ear troubles.
Whenever I feel the temptation to drift apart, I usually write a prayer. Later, I can see how ridiculous an argument was or learn about how I need to work on something."
Husband: "I don't know it just happens when you spend too much time together."


***Note to Readers! We do have a new couple filling in for couple 2! Please respond with your own answers to the question in the comments below! Also, watch for our response in the comments!

Question: What has been the biggest joy you have shared together in your marriage?

Couple 1: She says: "I found someone who I enjoy spending time with and makes me laugh on a daily basis."
He says: "Finding someone who I have so much fun with."

Couple 2: "We look back over 20 + years and are happy to have given ourselves to Christ together and made choices along the journey that reflect that."

Couple 3: "The biggest joy so far in our marriage is sharing every day with each other. We realize all the time how blessed we are to spend time as best friends. It's nice to come home to someone who will listen to your accomplishments throughout the day and give you a big hug."

Question: What has been the biggest struggle you have faced thus far in your marriage? How did you work through it?



Couple 1: Family and still working on it. We have tried praying, communicating and taking walks but it requires growth and patience on both sides that only comes with time and leaving lots of room for God to work.


Couple 2: When storms come one after another it is sometimes difficult to focus on relationships. Death in the family, illness in the family, moving, new job, etc. These storms bring stress and struggles and can easily become all consuming. We work through these things by going to God for strength and being extra supportive of each other.


Couple 3: Wife: "I think the biggest struggle has been balancing time and making the day worthwhile. When we're both busy it's hard to find time for getting stuff done around the house, togetherness and time to do the things we like to do separately. Time has also been a struggle because I like to go to bed at a certain time and want him to do the same, but he likes staying up really late. We're still working on this--trying to find ways to not be selfish and to also compromise."

Husband: "We struggle to meet each others' expectations, however realistic or unrealistic they might be. For example, she expects me to do all the yard work and I expect her to do all the dishes and laundry, but when she asks me to help her or I ask her to help me it doesn't always go over well."


**** If you are willing to share, what has been the biggest struggle you have faced thus far in your marriage? How did you work through it?

Question: What is one of your favorite dates to go on or thing to do together? And why?


Couple 1:
We like to go on adventures. That means trying new things, going new places and not getting upset when we take a wrong turn.

Couple 2:
We like to order pizza and watch our favorite shows once weekly. It’s relaxing and we have been doing it for years. It’s time together that we try to honor.

Couple 3:
When it's nice outside, I like to go disc golfing and walk around. When it's not, I enjoy watching movies and cuddling on the couch.



****What is your favorite date to take with your spouse and why?

Question 2: "When you got married, how did you work toward a having a foundation in Christ? Did you prioritize your spiritual walks? Do you feel that seeking God together has affected your marriage in a positive way? If so, how?"



Couple 1: "When we got married we tried to do studies and read the bible together like we did when we were dating. That has been off and on but we have always prayed together. Yes it has been positive. It provides a foundation that is strong and not fleeting. Our feelings shift and emotions can create friction but having that base prevents them from controlling our relationship."

Couple 2: "• Our spiritual life’s really grew after seeking out a church when we moved to Minnesota 20+ years ago. Participating in worship, camp, and everyday life with others seeking Christ really helped to forge relationship with Christ. We did this together, both equally committed. We have been able to weather tough and stressful situations through faith in Christ. Prayer brought us peace."

Couple 3: "The foundation for our marriage was Christ. Being at camp and seeing God work through each other was part of what brought us together. We agreed that we always wanted our relationships with God to come first from the beginning. When we pray together we become closer to each other and to God. No matter how much we mess up, or how good or bad the day goes, it doesn't ultimately matter because at the end of the day, we always come back together."

****Please leave your response to the question in the comments!

First of all, accept my apologies for last week! It was a crazy week. We had some wonderful things happen like a great college friend of Mitch's staying with us for a few days and some awesome youth group events. The AIM students were in Phoenix and they ran a youth devotional at the Northwest Church of Christ on Tuesday. Several teens also went to go see several bands, including Disciple and Family Force Five on Thursday night. They rocked quite hard and had a blast! However, we also had some less enjoyable occurrences, like myself getting sick for a few days. Amidst this mostly wonderful craziness we failed to post any blogs. We hate it when this happens because it is a commitment that we take seriously.

Today, we will begin round 1 of the long anticipated questionnaire responses! (Insert applause!) Each week I will post the responses to one question. We hope that you enjoy learning from some wonderful couples, many of whose wisdom and experience far surpasses that which Mitch and I have to offer. They are also all three in different stages of their marriages to add some further insight for you! This first question is a fun one that will hopefully be enjoyable and tell you a little bit of background on the couples.

Question1: "What was it that initially attracted you to your spouse? Is that still what you find most attractive about them today? If not, what is?"

Couple 1:
(Wife) "His kindness. And yes, it is what I am still attracted to."

(Husband) "Her personality. Yes, it is still what I am attracted to."

Couple 2: (Husband speaking about his wife) "Great sense of humor. Out going personality. Physically attractive. After 23 years of marriage, I find that my wife is even funnier than when we met. She continues to be beautiful inside and out, and loves to get together with others to share and have fun. What is most attractive today however is that she weathers the storms of life with faith and assurance that only comes through experience."

Couple 3:
(Wife) "I was attracted by his honesty. He was and is a say-it-like-it-is person and I appreciated that about him. It still attracts me, but it gets on my nerves every now and then--only when I need it the most."

(Husband) "We had mutual interests--We both wanted to have kids, to be involved with the camp ministry. I was physically attracted to her as well."

Question for you!
1. What was it that initially attracted you to your spouse? Is that still what you find most attractive about them today? If not, what is?

*Check in the comments for Mitch and I's responses! Have a great Tuesday!